#Marriage


  • 5 Common Marriage Counseling Mistakes | Winston Smith
    Pastors are all familiar with that couple. The couple that asks for help and says something has to change, and now! But why the sudden urgency? Maybe something has come out: there’s been adultery, a secret sin, or an addiction that has been discovered. Or, it may be that what has been irritating for five,…
  • A Letter to Wives Who Are Wondering: Is it Abuse? | Darby Strickland
    Dear Sister, Many hurting wives are not sure if what is happening to them is abuse. Are you one of them? Do you wonder if what you are enduring is bad enough to qualify for that label? Maybe you suspect something might be “off,” but you wonder: “Is it me? Is it my fault? Maybe…
  • Adultery and Reconciliation: 10 Years Later | Ed Welch
    If you had asked the betrayed partner before the adultery, “Do you think you could ever reconcile if your spouse was adulterous?” Most would have said, with confidence, “no!” Yet—many do. But how? What is their secret? …It is this. They are able to reconcile because God gives grace—lots of grace—to couples facing this betrayal.…
  • Pastor: What Your Wife Wishes You Knew about Being a Pastor’s Wife | Jani Ortlund
    Dear Pastor, I might not know your wife personally, but we are connected through our shared membership in a unique club. You might not have heard of this club before, if your wife doesn’t want you to know she belongs to it. It’s the “Help! I’m a Pastor’s Wife and I’m Struggling Club.” There are…
  • Premarital Counseling, Pornography, and Marriage | Winston Smith
    Any time I meet with a couple who are planning to get married, one of the things I always have to keep in mind is that I’m looking at people who are bullet proof. That’s the way I think of it. In other words, by the time a couple gets to me for premarital counseling,…
  • Sexual Abuse in Marriage | Darby Strickland
    This is the first in a series of three blogs on the sexual abuse of women in marriage. My goal is to help counselors and pastors to recognize when a wife is being sexually abused by her husband and then offer appropriate help. In this first blog, we will define what marital sexual abuse is.…
  • Sexual Abuse in Marriage: 12 Ways to Help Victims | Darby Strickland
    When God places women in our care who have been sexually abused in marriage, he is entrusting us with a tender and clear mission. These women face tremendous suffering and need us to care for them with gentle wisdom. They also need us to be strong—calling evil acts what they are—evil. This is not a…
  • Sexual Abuse in Marriage: The Power of Confusion | Darby Strickland
    Over the years, I have had hundreds of conversations with women who are being sexually abused by their husbands but do not realize it. They know something is wrong but do not know what it is. In fact, most of these women come to me seeking help for something else, usually anxiety, depression, or even a…
  • Spiritual Abuse in Marriage (Part 1) | Darby Strickland
    I often sit with wives whose husbands have used Scripture as a weapon to control them. Beth was one such woman. When I asked her how her husband, Joe, prays for her, she shared the most recent example. “Last week, he prayed Matthew 6:24 over me, ‘No one can serve two masters. Either you will…
  • Spiritual Abuse in Marriage (Part 2) | Darby Strickland
    Spiritual abuse occurs when an oppressor establishes control and domination by using Scripture, doctrine, or their leadership role as a weapon. If a husband exhibits control-oriented leadership by lording his power, demanding submission, or using Scripture in daily life or during conflict to shame and punish, then these are signs of spiritual abuse. When a…
  • The “Gift” of Singleness | Jayne V. Clark
    Have you always wanted to be married? As a child, did you dream about what your spouse would be like and how many kids you would have? Or maybe you’re more like me. Your desire for these things came later. Maybe you wanted to be on your own for a while, enjoying the freedom and…
  • Words: A Hidden Weapon of Domestic Abuse | Darby Strickland
    When we think about domestic abuse, we tend to think about acts of physical violence. We picture women with bruises and black eyes, or worse. While this is an all-too-common occurrence, this assumption about domestic abuse causes us to miss the fact that the primary weapon abusers use against their victims is not their fists…